So.. its been a while since I last posted and a lot of that is because things keep getting thrown at me and keep me occupied. I have been so busy this year so far, but living one of the best years I could ever ask for! However through all this busyness, I have learned so many things in each area of life:
Res Life: I think I went into this year as an RA kind of naively because last year went SO well. I figured that since last year was so great, this year would be to. But I'm struggling this year... I don't get along very well with many of my girls. So many of them have roommate problems or want to move rooms. I woke up this morning with lots of emails of my wing members angry at me because of the planning that went into a building event that had to be thrown together very quickly. I tried to fix the problem, but I still have the feeling that people are not happy. I think that the respect for RA's has decreased in my wing and it kind of drives me nuts. I feel like I'm doing a horrible job, and I don't even know how to go about fixing it. Especially since last year was so fantastic... I'm starting to wonder why God placed me as an RA for another year... I'm trying to teach myself patience in this area, but its something that does not come easily to me but something that I definitely have to learn.
College Classes: This is something that has been bothering me ever since the year started. I'm beginning to hate my graphic design classes. I don't learn anything in them and basically have to teach myself everything through tutorials and working on my own. It's pretty ridiculous. I'm beginning to not want to even be a graphic design major anymore, I like photography like 10x's better and its something that I'm actually good at and would be satisfied making a living out of. I'm even beginning to like my minor in Communications better than my art major. I still love art, and always will, but the fact that I'm not liking the classes anymore is probably a good indication that I'm not really doing something right. I have talked about this to numerous people and the same question keeps coming up.. what am I really doing here? I talked to my dad about this over the past weekend and he basically told me that you never use what you learned in college once you get into the "real world". If I never use that knowledge (or whatever knowledge) I have gained here, then what's the point of all the money that is going into my college education, just to get myself a degree and make myself look smart? I feel like I could be doing so much more right now in the world with what I have already learned then wasting my time studying stuff that doesn't entirely excite me anymore. Am I still here just because this is what my parents raised me to do - go to college and get an education? I'm starting to get the stage where I keep asking, What is God really calling me to do? I want to just get out and do what God's will is for my life right now. Sure I don't know what that is, but I completely trust that He will lead me and guide me what His will is for me.
Relationships: If you think about it.. there are so many different kinds of relationships in life. Relationships between your family, friends, teachers, coworkers, etc. These relationships are all SO important to me and I strive to build each one, but sometimes its hard. I have a hard time going home to my family because it is so hard to fit in. Living 12 hours away, I don't spend time with them to catch all their inside jokes and other recent memories that they have all shared. I come home and my sister and oldest brother get along really well and they do everything together, so its just me and my youngest brother who always hang out.. and don't get me wrong I love him to death, but i still feel bad that we all can't fit in together. I love my family to death but I wish that we could all get along really well that things would not always be so hard for me whenever I come home. Then it is also hard for me to not push away my life here at Dordt when I am home. I sometimes feel like my family doesn't understand my life here. It's hard for them to realize how much I enjoy it here and love all the new friends and adventures that I have had and am still having. Which brings me to another point of relationships. I'm beginning to realize that relationships are more important than school work will ever be. The friendships that I establish in college are going to be the friendships that last forever. So all those late night conversations, all those fun adventures... I've learned to ALWAYS accept them even if they don't come at the most convenient of times, because those things are going to be what you remember the most. Especially since being a junior, my time here is almost finished and I want to have lasting memories and relationships to carry me on through life. This year has brought about a new wave of friends, especially guy friends. There are 10 of us (5 girls, 5 guys) in our close group of friends, and the occasional people that float in and out. But we are already so close, we have our inside jokes, our adventures, our serious conversations, our Sunday dinners, and SO much more. It's fun and I'm SO blessed. The girls in this group have been my friends for the past 1 or 2 years and I love them to death. The guys are all friends with my boyfriend (which is also a new relationship for this year!) and we have all gotten to be such great friends. It's already made this year better. God is SO good!!! It's amazing to see what His plans are in life, because I definitely didn't have any plans for myself to get a boyfriend again this year. I thought I was completely content with being single still, but God had other ideas and I wouldn't change that for anything. I have an amazing boyfriend, someone who treats me with respect, encourages me, listens to me, someone who is always there and while we have our struggles with some situations, I know that he is always thinking of me and trusting me to help him out. We have a great relationship and one that we both hope continues to grow stronger in Christ. I'm scared for the future and excited all at the same time. I know God is in control and that's the only way I want it to be.
Well there are many, many, many, more things that I have been learning through life so far this year.. but already this post is so long and it covers a fair amount of topics for now. I have to save something for another post :) As I wrap this post up, I just want to end with some encouragement from 2 places: The first one is a Dove dark chocolate wrapper, it says: "the more you praise and celebrate your life, the more in life there is to celebrate." And the other one is from the Bible in Philippians 4:4, "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, rejoice!" I have learned that no matter what happens in life, God is in control and that we just have to rejoice in Him for everything. We don't have much time to live on this earth and I want to make my life something that counts and a life that I live to the fullest serving God. I may not know how I will be serving God after college or right now for that matter, but it is something I'm ready to learn and trust God to teach me!
So there you have it.. a few things that life has been teaching me!
